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  • The ambivalent St. Kaizers day

    Publisert av Lars, 11. November 2015 | Sist oppdatert: 11. November 2015 22:59

    Pass på at ikkje ompaen knekke deg til sist

    Again we have arrived at this date, 11/11. When Kaizers decided to launch their second Violeta Violeta album on the 11.11.11, did they have their crazy fans in mind, thinking about the posibilty that we would not let go of this date and make it our official St. Kaizers day? Probably not. But that’s what happened, and that is what has been happening for 4 years straight now, and what should be happening for ever, at least until we see Kaizers Orchestra reunited on stage, back together as one band.

    It is a day we should spend thinking about are great memories with Kaizers, celebrating the worlds greatest band ever, but at the same time it is a sad day, where you can feel how old wounds are torn up again, really feeling how much you miss them. My sub-webpage DiKommeSnartIgjen tells us that 787 days have passed since the fat lady sang those high opera tones in an icerink covered in red velour. To be able to explain some of the pain a Kaizerfan might feel today I would like to refer to this 2 year old tweet from Idar Grutle.

    (You know that time a person you loved broke your heart? It’s like that. Only 170 times worse)

    We can relieve some of our pain at times, watching the kaizers perform on separate scenes. Killmaster in Skambankt. Hellraiser in theater. Omen in movies and choir. Thunder in Cloroform. The Jackal at Spelemansprisen. I don’t even know where Mink went. But it’s just not the same. It’s a bit like meeting up with your ex at a cafe to be updated on how they are doing. It’s good to see them, but if you still have feelings for them it’s horrible to see how they live without you, completely without oil barrels or gas masks. To quote Begravelspolka, it’s not certain that you have been thinking about me, just as much as I have been thinking about you. Have you thought about that?*

    The thought of writing a long post about why Kaizers Orchestra were the best band ever has struck me many times, but I don’t think I have enough time to do so. There are at least 1000 big and small details that made Kaizers Orchestra the unique, fantastic, innovative, ingenious, creative band they were, simply the best of the best. Thinking mans circus music big time! It could easily have been a book series.

    I’ve presented Kaizers Orchestra and their music to people from Hungary, from the US, from Spain and from Cuba. Everyone agrees, Kaizers Orchestra is something you’ve just never heard before, it’s not similar to anything, yet you know that this is pure quality, no matter if you understand what they are saying or not. I will continue spreading the word of Kaizers whereever I go. Just like the Blues Brothers, I am one of many chosen ones on a mission from God, not only to get the band back together, but to spread the good word of the Kaizer.

    Today I went to my lectures in my blue Kaizers tshirt. I hope many of you have done similar things today. Maybe even some gas masks, black suits, maybe you brought a little oil barrel you just wouldn’t stop hitting? My speakers have been pumping out Kaizers non stop all day. For the stronghearted ones I recommend watching the video of their last concert, their last dance, but that’s too much for me. 

    How you spend this day is up to you. You can turn on the charm, be a maestro and dance ompa, or you can dance funeralpolka and feel like you are forevering suffering*. It doesn’t really matter. What is important is that we celebrate this day, and that JANOVE, RUNE, GEIR, HELGE, TERJE AND ØYVIND GET THEIR HEADS OF THEIR ASSES AND REALIZE THAT THEY SHOULD DO A COMEBACK AND REUNITE KAIZERS ORCHESTRA. But yeah.

    As Kaizers sang themselves, everything that is beautiful can burn, a diamond can turn to coal and you can end up having to sacrifice your voluntary  soldiers*. It’s only a part of the process*. But I would like to quote the last song Kaizers performed before they went of stage for the very last time. Relax, we’ll return soon.* So I’m relaxing, they will return soon. 

    Happy St. Kaizers day.

    * = My attempt to paraphrase Kaizers in English. To see the original lines check out the Norwegian version of this post.

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